The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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