DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
