Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
