I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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