why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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