this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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