you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
my god I love twenty year old dicks
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
