Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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