White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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