TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
