i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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