I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
