Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
