last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
