when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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