my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize