I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
