Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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