Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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