you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
