Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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