no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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