you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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