At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
