Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
