failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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