So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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