I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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