I'm jealous of your bromance
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
