the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
