How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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