READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
