Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
