i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
