Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
