mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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