Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
