She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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