I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
