i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
