Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just high enough for therapy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize