Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
