Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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