Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
