yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
