So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
