Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
