I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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