no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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