Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
