I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
