I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
